What's up with your dad?

[Intro]

“Okay, Jon...

Tell me again how this isn’t about me?

Because your dad just chucked a spear at my head.”


[Verse 1]

You said he liked me!

He gave me armor and a pat on the back!

Now I’m dodging spears at dinner—

WHAT. IS. THAT.

They sang a song, now he’s seeing red!

(“Saul kills thousands, David ten?” OH NO YOU DIDN’T!)

I play harp, he throws knives!

This is not a normal king-son-friend-life!

[Chorus]

Jonathan, bro, I’m tryna believe,

But your dad’s got murder up his royal sleeve.

I’m sleeping in caves while you're sipping wine—

What’s up with your dad? Is he doing fine?


[Verse 2]

He’s just... stressed!

You know, kingdom things!

War, taxes, prophets, demon wings?

STRESSED?! He threw a javelin at me TWICE!

That’s not stress, Jon, that’s HOMICIDE.

You said, “Come to dinner, prove it’s cool,”

Now he’s foaming and flippin’ his stool!

He called you a son of a “perverse woman” too!

(You okay? That cut deep, boo.)


[Chorus]

Jonathan, bro, I’m tryna believe,

But your dad’s got murder up his royal sleeve.

I’m sleeping in caves while you're sipping wine—

What’s up with your dad? Is he doing fine?



[Breakdown]

Look, I love you, man, I do...

But this royal sleepover’s turning into Saw II.

WHAT’S THE EXIT PLAN?!

DO I FAKE MY DEATH?!

DO I WEAR A GOATSKIN WIG

AND HOLD MY BREATH?!



[Chorus]

Jonathan, bro, I’m tryna believe,

But your dad’s got murder up his royal sleeve.

I’m sleeping in caves while you're sipping wine—

What’s up with your dad? Is he doing fine?


[Bridge]

You gave me your robe, your sword, your soul,

But now I’m a fugitive and losing control.

Your dad’s hunting me like I’m Goliath’s ghost—

But you’re the one I’ll miss the most...



[Final Chorus]

Jonathan, bro, I know you tried—

But your dad’s got rage that can’t be denied!

He’s throwing shade and literal spears—

So I’m skipping town, maybe grow a beard!


[Outro]

Tell me you’ll shoot the arrows long…

AND I’LL BE GONE BEFORE THE NEXT DING-DONG!

WHAT’S UP WITH YOUR DAD?!

(Seriously though...)

WHAT’S UP WITH YOUR DAD?!